We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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