my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
