is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
