I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
