therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize