At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
