Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
