Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
