Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
