we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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