would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
