He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
