I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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