Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
