how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize