So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
