is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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