So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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