I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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