if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
