found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
