I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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