Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
