i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
