How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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