She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize