I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
