she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
