im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize