i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize