i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If I die, sorry about rent.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
