I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
