end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
