can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize