I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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