no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
