school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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