that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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