We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
