ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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