I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
