I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
