That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
