nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
