bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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