Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
