I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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