I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
