Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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