lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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