Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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