The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
