Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
