dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
