Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
