even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
