I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
