Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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