I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
