That's intense
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
