I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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