I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
