she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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