my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
