Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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