before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
