for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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