do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
