How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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