your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
