So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize