Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sext me about skeletons
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
