At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
