You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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