Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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