Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is it penis luge time yet?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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