'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
