i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
