when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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